The only thing I've ever been familiar with in terms of Australia is Australian Gold sunscreen (their bronzing enhancer works wonders) and Aussie hair products (their shampoo smells amazing). Since I was moving to Sydney for at least six months I thought I should learn more about the island I would be calling home. I bought "A Sunburned Country" and quickly learned Australia hosts most of the world's deadliest creatures in the form of snakes, spiders, jellyfish and of course, sharks. I stopped reading the book after Bill Bryson started to make me doubt my decision to move down under. I asked a few of my guy friends who had travelled around Australia about the people there, and they informed me Australians were known for having herpes. Something I suspiciously think Max made them tell me.

I had lunch with my parent's next door neighbor Gina, who had just moved back to the states after living in Oz for seven years. She was telling me about Australian fashion when she said "Oh yeah and at some bars they have signs posted outside that say 'no thongs allowed.' So you can't wear thongs everywhere."

Record scratch. WHAAT?

I instantly pictured two bouncers outside of every bar, one to check ids and one to check your pantyline to make sure you were wearing granny panties. Why the HELL would Australians give a crap what kind of underwear you wore? What kind of conservative weirdos were these people? I looked at Gina and just said curiously "Well... how do they know?"

She laughed for a few minutes before clarifying that in Australia "thongs" referred to flip flops, not underwear. I was free to let my G-string flag fly. It just meant I had to take a few extra pair of heels, which was okay considering I'd already dedicated my entire carry-on suitcase to shoes.

Anyways, now I'm off — armed with multiple stilettos which will hopefully help me fight off any STD-infested sharks and deadly spiders that may come out to get me. Cheers.